You know that Johnny Cash (R.I.P pour out a little bourbon) song about the man who abandoned his son but named him Sue to make him grow up tough. That song closely resembles my early childhood, oddly enough my mom was behind most of the actions that toughened me up by accident or by purpose and sometimes by both. But this aint no Middlesex story, my family is tight BUT not that tight. You see the only thing that’s worse than growing up poor is growing up a poor immigrant. Even if you look like the other kids having a British accent oddly enough can end up getting you beat up in 1st grade. On top of that mom having to work three to four jobs and me having two younger sisters meant she’d shop for us in one hurried clean swoop not really making sure to differentiate suitable male things and suitable female things.

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I had to convince her that American boys DO NOT WEAR PURPLE JEANS!!! Seriously, unless she wanted me to get shanked with a #2 pencil, I could not return to school dressed like the gay dude from Rainbow Bright. Also a My Little Pony lunch box? Are you kidding me mah? Then when my sister found out about New Kids On The Block I was royally fucked. Do you know what it’s like to be the only dude at a cub scout sleep over with a New Kids on the Block sleeping bag? Everything I wanted to do my sister would cry and tag along. So when my boys started our little skate board crew guess who was the one with New Kids on the Block skateboard. Yep that’s right. I mean you thought as a kid wearing helmut was gay, you have no idea what gay is… trust me!

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Did I also mention when my mom did get me masculine things it was usually 3 months after I asked for it. I mean I was the last kid on the block with a Super Nintendo. I remember asking for that one bike “The Sonic Six”, man that was the hotness and I know most of you guys don’t even know what I’m talking about but it had a white and blue shield on the front and the gear shift looked like something out of a Jet shifter. Man that was hot sauce. My mom put it on lay away for so long by the time I got it, it was snowing. She did come through though when I asked for Houston Rocket’s Starter Jacket and Clyde Drexler Jersey out of the East Bay mag. What you all know about that! Growing up in at that time a little “neck” town of Virginia we never really had much until I got to high school. But it was during that time my mom called me to her room and sat me down for her version (one of many) of “A simple Man” speech (The Skynyrd version not the gay shinedown version). I was getting into trouble and not really caring about school or my future (straight thugging and getting my Ryan Atwood on). It was like Marlon Brando’s Superman 1 speech and It went a little something like this,

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(my only son, when you land up in that hoe, watch me crank it watch me roll, watch me crank dat soulja boy then super man dat hoe. Now watch me YUUUUUUUAAAAA) supermanthatho.jpg ok for real she said “I know we had it rough at first. We didn’t have much but I did the best I could (this is how my mom starts all her major speeches). I know you’re facing a lot of pressure to be cool and do things that you think will make your friends like you more. But if there is one thing I hope my life and all our hardship has taught you is that it takes more guts to stand alone and not follow others, to be an individual. I work with people every day who went, “with the crowd” (she was a correctional officer). This is not our way, we are not Americans. If there ever comes a time that doing or saying what you feel seems hard, remember that there are worst things in life than not having friends”

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I would view friendship and belonging in a different way. This help influence my taste in fashion, music, and life. T0 naturally go in the opposite direction. Thanks to my mom’s speech I would refuse to limit myself to what everyone else thought was cool. But this isn’t her story, that one is for another day. I only say this because today at work I was in the elevator with this attractive female coworker chatting when she stopped mid sentence and said: Her: you know what, I must say I like your tie. For some reason not a lot of men can pull off pink but you do it well. Not in a metro sexual way but in a confident “real men wear pink” kind of way. Me: (smiling) Oh yeah? I guess I’m just used to it. Thank you though Thanks Mom…… for everything

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